ajcjobs > BlogBreak > Archives > 2006 > October > 19
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Containing office gossip
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Did you know that…? Can you believe that…? I heard that…! I am so mad that…! Do many of your sentences start out like this?
If you have to say it with a whisper or behind a closed door, ask yourself this question - are you a chronic gossiper?
Yes, men and women alike have made gossip rampant at work. Just ask the owner of Springboard Consulting, who built a training program called GossipStoppers. She’s getting paid by employers to help stop this counter-productive behavior. Go inside any company of any size and you will find a rumor mill of sorts.
When three or more people become dependent upon one another to produce results, inevitably you have potential for triangulation. Triangulation is one of my favorite psychology terms because it really describes how gossip begins. When three people have a relationship with one another a triangle is formed.
Unlike a two-some that forces direct communication, suddenly it becomes easier to communicate your feelings, frustrations, and discontentment to a third person.
Instead of directly addressing the boss with your concerns about their lame leadership style, boring lectures, or annoying habits, you tell a colleague or one of their peers. Once they’ve ‘heard it through the grapevine,’ your words have usually been misunderstood and even exaggerated.
Now the circle of trust with you and your boss is either broken or at least cracked. Even though indirect communication is a tempting way to try to get your point across, it’s usually construed as ‘backstabbing’ or ‘passive aggressive.’
Unfortunately, most of us don’t know how to directly communicate negative thoughts, feelings, or information. The fact that we may suffer retribution makes it even harder to do in the workplace. Blame, accusations, criticism, and unsubstantiated rumors can be extremely destructive to productivity, reputations, and careers.
My advice is if you have a something on your mind, instead of standing around the water cooler and complaining; buy a book called ‘Crucial Confrontations’ by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler.
It’s a bestseller because most of us still need to learn how to address ‘touchy, controversial, and complex topics at work and at home.’ Be your own GossipStopper by starting with yourself.
Do you have a coworker or group of colleagues that just can’t stop gossiping? Are you the office mouth?
