ajcjobs > BlogBreak > Archives > 2006 > October > 29 > Entry
Office spouse or just cube-mate?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Do you have a coworker who knows you better than your spouse or partner at home? Do you grab coffee or lunch together every day and know every detail about each other?
I once had an ‘office spouse’ at a previous job. Let’s call him Austin for the sake of anonymity.
Austin was such a great guy! He would listen to my gripes every day because we reported to the same grouchy boss and he knew just when to suggest a quick trip to Starbucks because I needed an energy boost.
Austin would pick up my office mail and faxes for me and even walk me out to my car every night to make sure I got in safely.
Saying goodbye to him was probably the hardest part of leaving that job and we still keep in touch, even though we were nothing more than good friends, or office spouses - some might say.
We ran a ‘Cubicle Couples’ story in Features section of the AJC a few months back which addressed this very workplace dynamic. The story revealed that a survey released by Vault claimed that out of 700 people, one in three people had a work wife or office hubbie.
The story then went on to say that these types of relationships were often great for employees because they gave them extra support and balance in the office. On the other hand though, just as quickly as these relationships formed, they could also quickly sour when promotions were announced or jealousy flared up.
Have you ever had a work wife or office spouse? How did your other coworkers or spouse at home react to this?
Does being part of a cubicle couple make you happy or do you feel all tangled up in an emotional web?
Comments
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By Office luvin
October 30, 2006 8:44 AM | Link to this
I had the most wonderful office spouse, then I switched jobs and he is my actual spouse now!
By George
October 30, 2006 8:44 AM | Link to this
tough call, very tough call here. i have one, she is a wonderful friend. she listens to everything i have to say, we take lunches, grab a cup of coffee etc etc etc. there is a lot i couldn’t get through without her. but, on the other side of the coin, since we are so close, we have the emotional roller coaster of being more than just friends. we take out our bad days on each other, as if we were a married couple. the emotions flare, the temper flare and so on. we both make up at some point over coffee, but it is a very strange emotional ride.
By office-divorced
October 30, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this
I once had a work-wife. What started out as harmless daily flirting - she was married and I was in a serious relationship - soon escalated as we were both ending our respective other halves. We started hanging out away from the office and then going back to my place during lunch.
After a few months of this, we decided things were getting out-of-control, so we rekindled things with our formers and remained really close friends. She’s now a stay-at-home mom and I’ve successfully avoided replacing her at the workplace. I miss the good ol’ days!
By work-spouse
October 30, 2006 12:39 PM | Link to this
I have a work husband that I have so much love for. We are both married but we just have a ton in common and we both listen to each other. It has never crossed the line of adultary and we make sure not to be alone with each other. I wouldn’t make it through my day without him.
By Office Wife
November 1, 2006 12:10 PM | Link to this
I have a friend who jokingly calls me his “Office Wife” which is really funny because his real wife works here too! I love them both and would do anything for either of them. I love “Bob” like a big-brother and his wife “Tilly” is totally ok with that because she and I have discussed it. She knows that Bob and I go out to lunch almost every day and she also knows that she is ALWAYS welcome to come with us. (Often she just chooses to either work through her lunch or has us bring something back for her.) When Bob and Tilly go out to lunch and I don’t go with them I think it’s great because I don’t ever want her to feel as though I’m standing in their way of some “together time”!
Bob and Tilly met here at the office and I have had the joy of watching their relationship grow from friends to house-mates to spouses! I even helped pick out her engagement ring! I also knew before anyone else here that they were “running away” and getting married when they did. Everyone here in our building (about 300 employees) knows us because of the nature of our jobs (I actually was Bob’s hiring supervisor but we now work for different areas but in the same field). In fact because we razz each other so much (like a close brother and sister would) we get people commenting all the time about how the two of us should be married. We just look at each other, make a face and go “Naaahhhhh!!!!”
When I think about finding another job I actually get choked up because I can’t imagine not seeing “Bob” everyday. But I know that some day one of us will move on to bigger and better things; I just pray that we’ll stay in touch and continue our great friendship.
By Office Wife
November 1, 2006 12:56 PM | Link to this
My husband had an “Office Wife” at his old job. She was married to an alcoholic and my husband (who is good-looking and a good listener) would spend time with her at lunch and on breaks. He claimed he was just trying to be a friend but my “real wife” radar was beeping like crazy. One day I stopped by the office and since everyone knew me they just let me go to his desk. He was in a meeting but on his desk was a hand-written note from his office wife making reference to the size of a certain area of my husband’s slacks and where she wondered if “it” was a big as she thought. (I mean, talk about timing! Listen to the radar ladies!) Needless to say I threw a fit. Not at the office… I didn’t want to get my husband in trouble, but I contacted this girl and told her in no uncertain terms what she said was totally inappropriate. Not just because she was a married woman leaving a note like that on the desk of a married man but because she could have damaged his reputation as a good, dependable employee if someone else had seen it. My husband was upset that it had happened and that I was upset and told this girl so. Ultimately she wanted to buy me dinner to apologize and so we could “discuss it”. I relunctantly agreed but it meant a lot to my husband for me to try to put it behind us. Well, she spent the whole evening telling me about how wonderful my husband is and how he had helped her with her situation so much. Then she proceeded talk about his siblings, his parents, etc. She rattled off information that wasn’t secret or anything and it could have very well been part of a normal conversation, but it was like she had been a sponge when my husband spoke. (Additionally, I didn’t get a word in edgewise.) After the dinner I went home and my husband asked “Well, how’d it go?” I told him “Listen… whether you like it or not this chick is in love with you. She has remembered every single thing about your family that the two of you have discussed. A girl doesn’t do that unless she’s in love.” Of course I was just being paranoid and was made to feel like at total idiot. But I know I was right and deep down inside so did he because things between them seemed to change. Fortunately he left there not too soon after that.
By To office spouses: Get a life!
November 8, 2006 1:35 PM | Link to this
Anyone who refers to a spouse at the office is cheating emotionally on the ‘real’ spouse at home that truly supports them in every way. Being friendly to others on the job is necessary and being compassionate is okay, but knowing every intimate detail of a co worker indicates one needs to get a life! Some women especially have their whole social life at work and latch on to “Nice” or “Funny” men who just like to get their ego stroked when they can. Who people are in public is often very different in ‘private’