ajcjobs > BlogBreak > Archives > 2007 > February > 27 > Entry
Have ‘helicopter’ parents?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Imagine taking your parents to a job fair, or even worse an interview? I CAN’T. As a baby boomer, I was slightly embarrassed to go to a restaurant with my parents in my twenties. Not so for the Millennial, 20-something’s of today.
According to Tara Weiss, a writer for Forbes, the parents of young job seekers have hovered over their children for so long they have earned the name “helicopter parents.” Unfortunately, it seems that instead of corporations rejecting this ridiculous behavior from over-functioning parents, they are indulging them by including them in offer letters which are addressed to the job seeker AND their parents!
Even worse, at least one major financial institution, has invited parents to their new offices. Does the movie, “The Firm,” come to mind? Boundaries are work are hard enough to maintain with cell phones, PDA’s, and emails only a nano-second away. So what’s next — when you call in sick,
‘The Firm’ is going to call your parents to get a doctor’s note? I cannot fathom that a company would be remotely interested in employing a person who had their parent line up their interview for them. If you need your parents to help get you the job, what happens afterward? It is one thing to look to parents for support, encouragement, referrals, and even “free rent” while you are looking for a job.
However, if you aren’t motivated enough (or independent enough) to get to the interview without taking a chaperone, you may want to consider establishing some newfound boundaries associated with adulthood. If you don’t, you may find you are living your parent’s lives and not your own. Unfortunately, living someone else’s dreams tends to wreck careers, marriages, and future happiness.
If you’ve made it to the age where you need a job, trying steering your life on your own. It’s amazing how good it will feel to know what you accomplished was truly yours and not the professional meddling from parents who can’t let you fly solo.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Nick
February 27, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this
Thanks for the ideas and solo carrier but please let us know about it.
By jcti
February 28, 2007 8:54 AM | Link to this
Gayle, I must agree with you. You must set boundaries with your parents when looking for a job. As an HR professional who interviews a lot, I would prefer that parents wait either in the car, another building, in the main lobby of the building, any place where I can’t see the them.
I can not count the number of parents who sit in my waiting area and want to introduce him/herself to me. It is just not professional.
Lastly, I don’t think it’s also about motivation and independence. Most of these young adults that I have interviewed are highly motivated but have a different type of relationship with the parent. It is more of a collaboration and interdependence. I did not have the type of relationship with my parents so it is hard to say whether or not is better or worse.
What I do know is that my teen-age step son wants us and asks us to be involved in things that I would have never discussed with my parents. Sometimes we agree to be involved and other times we tell him he has to go alone on the task. It has not, however, stopped him from asking us to be involved.