ajcjobs > BlogBreak > Archives > 2007 > September > 19 > Entry
Divulging ‘too much Information’ in the office?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
How many times have you been in the middle of a conversation with someone when they blurt out something totally inappropriate? I’m not talking about people who bring up issues like politics and religion in mixed company, although that’s dangerous conversational territory, too.
I’m referring to people who share entirely too much personal information with you when you’re really not that close. It may be Bob down the hall, who tells you more than you care to hear about his bunions. Or maybe it’s Stacy in Accounting who goes into a little too much detail about her wild weekend at the beach.
Office environments often lull people into a premature sense of camaraderie with others. Because we share space for 40 or more hours a week, people can sometimes forget that co-workers aren’t friends and family who love us despite our quirks and personal issues.
I have a very dear friend who seriously lacks an internal filter. On a personal level, I love her for that. She can be counted on, in her typically hilarious way, to say (out loud) the very thing that everyone else is thinking. She’s bubbly, well-educated and articulate and if we’re having a conversation between friends, I’m willing to overlook her tendency to tell me things that make me cringe.
That said, she usually has the good sense to watch what she’s saying in front of polite company and in the workplace. If we hadn’t been friends for more than 20 years, I would probably not be so charmed and amused.
How many of us, however, have worked with people who are oblivious to the fact that they’re divulging too much personal information on the job. Most of us, I would suspect.
Even if the offender isn’t overtly sharing too much information, we can still know more about our co-workers than we’d prefer to know. In cubicle-land, our private telephone conversations usually aren’t so private. So, someone’s marital spat or their personal medical issues can easily be overheard.
And don’t EVEN get me started on people who have these intensely private conversations on their cell phones in the grocery store, on the train, or in bathroom stalls!
When it comes to discussing personal issues at work, just how much information is too much information???
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By DBB
September 19, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this
life is much easier if you dont think anything is TMI
blurt it all out I say…
By Nina
September 19, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this
I used to have a coworker named Mindy who couldn’t keep a lid on it. She would constantly spill her weekend sexual jaunts and even inform us of her bowel fluctuations. I am all about being personable with my coworkers but do not need to know the results of every single one of their bathroom breaks!
By DJ
September 19, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this
co-workers aren’t friends
Exactly (at least most of the time). My 14-year experience has shown that some people are more apt to tell you their life story than others.
I don’t care that your cats are sick, your husband lost his job and his mom can’t find his father. I’m really not that interested in the fact that Beth was crying about not getting into the college of her choice.
I love it when someone divulges all that information, then looks at you like, “now it’s your turn to tell me your business.” I just sit there, in silence.
By Jen
September 19, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this
I have to say that my ENTIRE cubefarm is guilty of TMI. However, since we’ve socialized fairly often outside of the job I’d say we’ve earned our comraderie.
We even have a quote wall to put up the most inappropriate things we’ve heard from each other.
While our on-the-job environment definitely wouldn’t appeal to a lot of people we’re all glad for it. We have a lot of fun!
By Jen
September 19, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this
And before anyone thinks I’m just a clueless b******* who doesn’t realize she’s p** off the co-worker over the divider I should mention that EVERYONE in our cubefarm, a total of 6 people, participate in the TMI activity. And since our cubefarm is in it’s own room we’re not disturbing other cubefarms, either.
It all started when one fellow farmer was overheard telling another fellow farmer that he had “nuts in his sack”. He was truly and innocently talking about a jar of peanuts in his gym bag, but the rest of us only heard that phrase….and it’s been a TMI haven in here since.
By Craig R.
September 19, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
There’s a guy in my office who does this all the time. What makes matters worse is that he’s a loud, non-stop talker. Saying “hello” often leads to a 20 minute conversation. At any rate, we were in the middle of one of those long, rambling conversations — at his desk, which is surrounded by quite a few other people — when he began discussing a “procedure” he had done on a certain organ a few years ago. Then he began talking about how much his sex life has improved since then. He brings stuff like that up all the time. It’s totally embarrassing.
By Becky
September 19, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this
Most here in my office can talk about anything & not p*ss anyone off..We do however have one coworker that butts in everytime that we are talking..She’s black & any time we talk about anything in the news that involves other black people, she always says that we are being racial…Whatever, get a thicker skin..
By smurf
September 19, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this
I work with a woman that lives her life outloud, everything that has to do with her, her family her grandkids her life in general shes a drama chaser, if there is a moment of peace in the cube row she thinks thats too much and has to be on the phone all day. It starts at 7 in the morning, she will go over to the other side of the room talk for 1 hr, then come back to ourside and call her daughter and talk to her for an hr, then call granny kate and talk toherm then call her neighbors and talk to them, then call her grandson and tell him what to do the same thing every morning…its all way too much..i have to wear headphones to tune her out.
Another cube mate cuts his fingernails all day long when he is here and they don’t even grow that long even when someone is standing and talking to him he does it..Im surrounded by freaks…
By Simply despise liars
September 19, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this
Dear Becky, I find you somewhat offensive, and I don’t even know you. You have already failed the “TMI” test by having to point out that this coworker is “Black”. Your complete point could have been conveyed without the extraneous detail. Ever considered that she just might, might be picking up a vibe from you that makes her feel that way? …always two sides to a story. However, back to the blog…. TMI can happen even in families. Probably just a part of the human dynamic that we inadvertantly carry to work with us.
By Red
September 19, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this
My favorites are the ones who think they are the only ones in the building, so they can speak as loud as the want, about anything they want, and think that no one hears them. Many of us work on the phone, and it certainly is a distraction. I don’t want to hear about their personal habits, or dinners, or dates, or kids, or any of that nonsense! STFU!
By Simply despise liars
September 19, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this
This is great too. I have coworkers who listen to their voice mail messages via the speaker phone function. You get to hear personal AND business related messages at full volume. Others in the office care to hear neither!
By Red
September 19, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this
And, if you need to do a conference call, or listen to your voice mail, either pick up the receiver, or shut the door to your office! Does it even occur to you that other people don’t need to hear your business?
By Becky
September 19, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this
I don’t care if you find me offensive..I was just stating the facts..If you can’t accept people saying black or white, then you need to get a thicker skin also..
By Makee
September 19, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this
Hey Smurf..do you work for the State!?!?! I can swear I know those folks you are speaking of.
By Sweet T
September 19, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this
I agree, what does her being black have to do with her butting in on the convo. “We do however have one coworker that butts in everytime that we are talking..She’s black & any time…”
I guess her bad habit of TMI has now rubbed off on you, because that detail was TMI, get it?
By ChrisD3
September 19, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this
“Simply despise liars” is a race baiting politically correct whiner. Blacks are always the first to jump and scream racism, so the description “black” is pertinent to the story. A black person, telling the same story, would have described the person as “white.” If you can’t stand the accurate description “black” or “white” you need to be offended off by yourself somewhere. We don’t care.
By Rob
September 19, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this
Becky, Simply!…cant we all just get along!!!
btw, my coworker clips his nails too…one day after hearing 25 or so “CLIPS” i wondered how many fingers he had, so i got up and walked on by his office, and he had his shoes off, socks off and up on the desk, cliping his toenails…..(he should have been using a jackhammer on those knarly looking things too!!!)….that for me, WAS WAY TO MUCH TMI…
(oh, btw, his toenails were black…and he is a white guy!!!…and I can say that, since there isnt a racist bone in my body…his toes were just NASTY….)
By VoR
September 19, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this
Well said, ChrisD3 @ 11:35. Strange how political correctness turns people into mindless zombies.
By getalide
September 19, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this
becky….why r u talking so loud that your “black” co-worker can hear you?
By getalife
September 19, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this
becky….why r u talking so loud that your “black” co-worker can hear you?
By getaknife
September 19, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this
Get-a-lide/life/insert your name here:
Because otherwise he/she/it would say “they’re whispering behind my back” [because I’m black]. You must have never worked in cubicle environment.
Next question.
By JustMe
September 19, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this
Boy, I can’t WAIT until all of your co-workers read how you’re flaming them!
By Becky
September 19, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this
I can get along with anyone..I work with a very diverse group of people & we all get along.. So, if I offended anyone, I apologize..I didn’t mean to..Rob, I actually work with a lady that used to do that same thing..Not a nice sight…
By TMI
September 19, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
My coworker, Becky, just talks too much.
By jeed
September 19, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this
Well, this blog explains why I am never able to reach a human at a customer-service call center. Everybody is apparently chopping it up in the “cube farm.”
By DWP
September 19, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this
Here we go again with the race issues, thanks AJC you’ve never proven me wrong!
By Becky
September 19, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this
Some people are just born whiners..
By DWP
September 19, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this
Thanks Becky you just had to go there.
By Rudy
September 19, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this
There were the two workers who were dating and conducting their volatile break-up in the hallway at full volume. Very entertaining!
There was the guy changing his pants in his cube. Nobody wants to see you in your boxers!
Finally, there was the guy who told everybody about his abdominal surgery in great detail. Yuck.
And as to the race thing, welcome to Atlanta, where EVERYTHING is a race issue… just look at Sunday morning….
By who cares
September 19, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this
well, at least becky can point out that ONE BAD HIPHOPPER can spoil the whole bunch. First-it was HER conversation that did NOT include the Black lady with the huge chip on her shoulder and believes she is the entitlement queen and that anything that happens to a black person, should be equally weighted upon a white person. That black lady should BUTT OUT of conversations that DO NOT include her. And for her to put in her unwanted two cents or two cent for those that speak Africanese or Swahili, is RUDE. BUT NOOOO! That appears to be a black thing, an entitlement to butt into a conversation that she was not invited to join. If you expect Civil rights-act in a civil manner you Zimbabweans! you talke about being oppressed? you weren’t even BORN during that time when it was LEGAL. Imagine if they made civil rights ILLEGAL! call Jesse! Call AL! start the marches GOOD! Hey Y’all-it’s HUNTING SEASON-YEE HAW! Prey on PARADE! Jsut remember, naggers-if it weren’t for your bretheren in Africa who brought you here and sold you to WHITE PEOPLE as slaves, you’d be back in Africa running for your lives during the war, and fighting for food. Remember-you were slaves in Africa BEFORE you were slaves here. No one from the Southern US chartered a safari boat and mugged your great great grandparents off the streets of the African Jungles and brought them here. so once again, Africans wronged other Africans, but-why blame your own race when you have Whitey? Why can’t you act more like Condoleezzaa Rice and Bill Cosby? They are two CIVILIZED and respected Americans who just happen to be black.
By Al
September 19, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this
Come on, people. Enough with this garbage. Let’s stick to enlightening stories about bowel movements and organ procedures.
By jeed
September 19, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this
whocares,
Your race should really be proud of the likes of your ignorant azz.
lol.
By sjr
September 19, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this
tmi alert…if you don’t like tmi, don’t read any further!!!
a lady i used to work with brought in what the vet surgically removed from her cat’s stomache the day before. it was in a zip lock bag and she showed everyone in the department. it was string and pony tail holders and thats all i could figure out.
she was white. (so am i).
By disgust
September 19, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this
I work with several men who clip their fingernails in their cubes - these are high level managers!! This is the disgusting thing - Last year we moved our floor plan around which resulted in cube moves. I’m over in my new cube cleaning and dusting before moving my stuff over. I open the desk drawer and to my disgust it was filled with fingernail clippings. He must kept the clippers in his drawer and clipped them over it. And of course this guy thinks he is big sh*t. What a pig. Do your personal grooming at home.
By Clippety Do Dah
September 19, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this
Man, and all this time I thought I was being discreet about my clippings. Doh!
By Jo
September 19, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this
I used to work with a guy who audibly belched & passed gas all day. GROSS!
By just me
September 19, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this
I recently changed jobs and now I keep to myself, which makes the days much better. I know nothing about my co-workers and I don’t care about their lives and I don’t share mine. And LIFE is much better. As long as the work while in the office, I could care less what else is going on in their lives.
By who cares
September 19, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this
hey Jeed-at least I ACT in a civilized manner and do not butt into other people’s conversations nor do I blame another RACE for any failures, nor do I claim a double standard for criminal sentencing, nor do I point out another incident like others do when Vick was being pursued for immoral behavior. So put the RACE card back into your pocket and keep it there. Your beloved OJ is going to spend the rest of his life in jail, and Vick is not coming back to the NFL as the VA Atty General is going to nail his butt. you jsut can’t handle the truth and deal with it-you always have to blame somebody. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS! Points of FACT: What kind of Man Dates an 18 yr old, shoots his ex wife and the girlfriend’s step father? Hmmm-A BLACK man. What kind of men kill a boy and attempt to kill a girl in order to stop them from testifying against them in a home invasion robbery? Hmmm BLACK men. Who is on the 10 and 11 pm tv most nights getting arrested? hmmm-BLACK men. Adn guess what? The cops arresting them are BLACK! And that’s the bottom line “cause STONE COLD SAID SO!
By Alexis
September 19, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this
This building has fairly thin walls and the “lady” (and I use the term ever so lightly) in the office adjacent to mine has some of the most annoying conversations, at full volume, about her personal life. We are both executives, which makes matters all the worse. She has no sense of morality apparently and loves to talk to her “girl friends” about the who, what and how many times of last night’s events. She is having an affair with a guy who works for a company on the 19th floor and of course everyone in our office knows all about it. Her poor husband comes in every so often to bring her lunch or what not, he gets some of the most pitiful looks from everyone within ear shot of her office. We hear the kissy sounds, the “I love you’s” and of course the “what are you going to do to me when I do xxx to you with my xxx and stick my xxx in your xxx” that she loudly blurts out while on one of those less than apropriate phone calls with her 19th floor affair. Disgusting behaviour.
By Job30339
September 19, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this
Ok I want to play! I use to work with women who go into the bathroom which was on the second floor within waking distance to our cubes and blow it up. They were told they had to use the bathroom in the warehouse to do that kind of stuff. But My cube use to be in front of the bathroom and I was always gagging and these woman had the nerve to come out and say wow there is more where that came from… I had people who use speaker phone to talk to their collection people who call and haunt them down wanting their money for their bills…. I have also worked with people who picked up other people on craigslist for some fun and heard them on the phone spelling out the details… These people were both straight and gay…. Then I have worked with people who like to scratch their naughty parts in front of people and smell their hands…. I’m sorry if it stinks it stinks.. it’s not going to smell any different!
By DWP
September 19, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this
Job30339- You just confirmed why I haven’t been able to mean like minded people in this city. After reading your post thanks but no thanks to dating here I just might meet one of your co workers (making note to self, stay out of the 30339 zip code for like minded people)
By sharon
September 19, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this
I was getting ready to go home after an exhasuting day of work when my co-worker came up to me and said she needed to talk. I thought it was work related. Needless to say she wanted to tell me she was getting a divorce. I couldn’t just jump up and say “oh, I’m so sorry I’ll see you tomorrow”. So I had to sit there and fake like I was interested in hearing about her cheating husband. Then I’ve had co-workers to tell me how long it’s been since they’ve been intimate with a man.I just don’t get it.
By c-bear
September 19, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this
all this jawjacking at the office is extremely distracting to the FEW workers that are actually doing their JOB. one just has to laugh (on the inside) when these so called toxic noise machines gets in a jam because their MIND was NOT on their job (what they are paid to be doing) and busy being immature and STUPID !!!!!!!
By c-bear
September 19, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this
Now, do I need to say it again or did I get get my point across…. Get a life morons!
By Sweet T
September 19, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this
I would run if I saw someone scratching their naughty parts, maybe they have rabies!
By Ansley
September 20, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this
Smurph - you’re little story is probably way less interesting than the person you’re complaining about. Becky, you’re an idiot. KTHXBAI
By Eggbert
September 24, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this
I went through breast cancer last year, chemo, surgery etc… and was very open in the office in hopes of stopping whispers etc… I tried to keep a sense of humor which was the only way I myself could cope and I knew people had questions and curiosities. I have also been in this office for several years and felt comfortable. I think now I wish I had kept to myself because I feel like an alien and that everyone is sick and tired of me. People have quit asking me to lunch. I just keep to myself now and try not to feel bad. But, take it from me in reverse, TMI can be very harmful in the workplace.
By blondie
October 2, 2007 8:15 AM | Link to this
Becky, Totally out of line. I am white. I grew up with integration. Be glad you have a job. Forget what they woman says, do your job, you will hear less and get less irritated. If that still doesn’t work, start looking for a new job with an all white office, as you are living in a Fred Flintstoneo world!