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Fraternizing with your co-workers

By Gayle Oliver | Wednesday, April 16, 2008, 08:11 AM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

According to Wikipedia, “Fraternization, or to become like brothers or family members, is a term that carries within it the connotation of impropriety in terms of morals, ethics, social expectations and professionalism.”

This source goes on to explain that military, educational institutions, and now corporations either prohibit or discourage the fraternizing among individuals with different “ranks” or organizational authority, for instance a boss and his/her employee.

There are many reasons why your company may shudder at the idea of you having a cocktail with your boss after work. In addition to potentially exposing the company to a sexual harassment law suit down the road, it can result in others seeing the boss as showing favoritism as promotions are awarded or denied.

At the executive ranks, when top officials become overly familiar with their leadership team, they can unintentionally reveal too much about the company’s vulnerabilities or strategies.

Suppose one day the CEO is playing golf with his favorite VP of Sales and shares a little too much in the clubhouse. This can become a problem should that ‘friendly’ relationship become jeopardized in the future because commissions are cut, or an M&A doesn’t provide the ‘golden parachute’ for the Sales group.

Suddenly professional friendships can become cluttered with ego-centric behavior, disloyalty, and self-interest that can injure the long-term health of the company. The other challenge presented by being highly social with your boss is that you will find yourself in a “dual relationship.’

Meaning, you can become confused by the simultaneous pressure to be both professionally and personally obligated to the same person. Imagine that you decide to run a marathon with your company’s CIO and it requires training 4 times a week at the crack of dawn.

You’re overworked and decide you would rather sleep in rather than become an obsessed runner. Not only are you letting your running buddy down, but now you look like a quitter and your CIO may slightly shift a perception about you on the professional horizon.

The fact is that successful relationships require strong boundaries and often fraternizing can blur those lines. When you add alcohol to the mix, inhibitions can come down and leave lots of injuries in the lives of both boss and employee.

Although I am not saying you should not be friendly, caring, and authentic with those you work closely with but I recommend that you proceed with great caution before you try to become ‘best friends’ with those who have the ability to profoundly influence your livelihood.

Remember one day you may be the boss, if you aren’t already. If you keep an appropriate professional distance you will likely be glad you did when you find that you have to make those tough, heart-wrenching business decisions.

The truth is that it’s Lonely at the Top, although it does tend to pay well! And even though money can’t buy you love, success does tend to attract lots of friends, just find some outside of your firm’s four walls.

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