ajcjobs > BlogBreak > Archives > 2008 > September > 04 > Entry
Do good parents make good co-workers?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Sarah Palin’s choice to run for Vice President of the United States while being the mother of five children, including a special needs infant, has created a lot of discussion on AJC blogs this week. Yesterday, MOMania approached the subject from the mother’s perspective. But let’s now look at this from the opposite side. How does a working mother’s (or father’s) choice to balance their parenthood and their career impact those around them in the workplace?
I have worked at jobs where employees without children were constantly having to pick up the slack for those staff members who were parents. “Sue had to leave early because her son Timmy is sick, can you close the office instead?” Or “We have to reschedule the staff meeting, John is going to be late because he has to take his daughter to a doctor’s appointment.” Or an exhausted co-worker would show up late and say to their colleague, “You’ll have to do the presentation. I can barely keep my eyes open, I was up all night with the baby.”
These employees were particularly annoyed that they were always expected to cover for their absent co-workers without complaint, as if management never considered they would have anything important going on in their personal lives just because they were childless. The parent that skipped out of work frequently for child-related reasons seemed to think they were entitled to this privilege, and no one should question their motives. This crippled the teamwork and trust that is needed to make any workplace successful.
Have you had co-workers that seemed to abuse their parental roles in the workplace and forced others to pick up their neglected job duties? How should bosses confront these situations?
Comments
By Debby
September 4, 2008 8:30 AM | Link to this
The absolute worst offender in my place of business is a married 40-something childless female hypochondriac. She’s out sick or at one doctor or another at least once a week.
Those with kids don’t seem to have any problem showing up for work and doing their job.
By Tanya
September 4, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this
Not the case in my current job, however it was the case with a previous company I worked for. From the day she announced her pregnancy to when it came to caring for her child, all her responsibilities fell on me. It was just assumed by management that I’d take on her workload.
At the time, I was handling issues in my personal life that management almost expected me to push to one side to pick up her slack. It didn’t help matters to find out she ran into my husband at the mall while she was out of the office “at a doctor appointment”
I most certainly applaude women who can juggle a pregnancy/family and work; I don’t applaude those who take advantage of the situation.
By ron
September 4, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this
I worked with a lady civil engineer,with children.It was a bad situation for me.As a mother with children she was not expected to work any extra hours.In fact,she had her own schedule.I picked up the slack for her on many occasions.I spent a lot of time at work that I wouldn’t have had to spend had she been a man.
By Single With Puppy
September 4, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this
All the parents I work with (married, divorced, single, knocked up, etc.) get all these excuses to come in late, leave early, take the day off at the last minute - all because of the “children”. I am rightfully sick of it.
By The South is a Cesspool
September 4, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this
While I think SOME parents use their kids to get out of work, I don’t think it’s the majority of them. Like Debby, I know childless people who take advantage of their co-workers all the time, too so it works both ways.You would think good parents would make goo co-workers. But if you knew the barracuda I work for, you’d know that some people would eat their own children along with their employees if they could get ahead.
By New Mommy
September 4, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
As a new mother who works full-time, I can see both sides of the issue on this. I had a high-risk pregnancy, which meant doctor’s appointments almost every other week for my entire pregnancy. But I always tried to get the 1st or last appointment of the day so I could still get to work. My boss got me a blackberry and I worked through my 6 weeks of maternity leave. I work an adjusted schedule now, but am always available via blackberry. I am lucky in that my boss was willing to work with me and discuss all the options.
On the other hand, if you have not spent an entire night awake with a screaming infant, you can’t imagine what it’s like to function the next day. (And I recommend it be your child so you get the emotional tug as well!)
:)
I would say that management is at fault for letting people with children abuse the system. I don’t think taking a child to a doctor appt every few months, or even staying home a few days with a sick child when it happens is that horrible - people without kids go see a doctor and get sick as well. I do think that when people use it as an excuse over and over again (unless it is a case of an emergency or a terminally ill child) that mangement should have a discussion with them and set what the expectations are. Then the parents can make their decisions.
By DB
September 4, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
I don’t think that people with kids are any less effective than the 20-something singles who duck out early on Friday, and come in late on Monday completely useless with a weekend hangover, or seem to think that a starting time of 8:30 am is optional, because, after all, they were out late the night before clubbing.
By A childless gal...
September 4, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this
I get particullary annoyed with this situation. I am childless and DO understand that children get sick, etc. However, you choose to have children, so if you have to be out for a half day, etc. please USE vacation time for this and don’t act as if this time is automiattical granted to you JUST because you have kids. If I am out of the office - and this is rare - for even two hours, I use vacation/pto time. This also goes for people who choose to move WAY far from their jobs and call in almost every morning with the “I’m going to be late b/c of traffic.” You chose to move way out, so it is your responsibility to leave earlier, etc. Yes, folks in my office with kids take WAY advantage. And I suffer because of it.
By JD
September 4, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
I’m also a new mommy, and I have to say that I’m surprised to hear how many people get work dumped on them by co-worker parents. Throughout my pregnancy and today, when I need to log off for appointments, I plan ahead as much as possible, usually completing the work early. I don’t think giving my work to others is an option, even if I wanted to do it!
I agree that having children is a choice - if you’re going to work as a parent, you have to pull your own weight. Children or not, though, anyone who thinks they can coast with a 40-hour workweek is either lucky or dreaming!
By kiki
September 4, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this
I think what’s being overlooked here is the parents improved ability to multi-task. A study recently showed that mothers got more done in 8hr at work than many childless workers who took excessive breaks, gossiped or smoked. Parents are motivated to get their work done and get home. Also parents make good managers with an improved ability to delegate and to deal with performance, conduct and co-worker relationship issues.
By MomAtWork
September 4, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this
You can’t put it all on folks with children. Some people abuse the system, no matter what their personal situation is - period. I am a female, and I have a 7 month old. Since being back, none of my projects have slipped and deliverables have been successfully met. Of course I’ve taken off time for baby appts, sick time, running late due to the baby being up all night, etc. However, I’ve always either taken a vacation day for it, or have offered to. At times, my boss has rejected my vacation sheets - because I plugged up from home and sat in on conference calls all day. No one on my team could ever say they’ve had to cover for me, because I complete my job just as I did before the baby. Like I said, some people abuse situations and some don’t. I do feel pity though for a single parent having to shoulder everything. Thank heavens my spouse and I share the responsibility of everything. Raising a child is hard work.
By Becky
September 4, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this
I had a male co worker once who called in sick every Mon. for 26(consective) weeks..This, plus the regular 3 weeks vacation & personel days that he had. We have single Mom’s here that don’t take off that much time..If I know that I am going to miss time, I come in early(& or) stay late to keep my desk caught up..Anything to keep my boss (or helper) away from my desk..
If I’m going on vacation,I make it a point to tell my boss for her to stay away from my desk..
By Andrea
September 4, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this
I don’t think being a parent has anything to do with it. If you are the type to work hard and be prompt, you do that. People who use their children as an excuse for tardiness and absence would just be using another excuse if they were childless.
By Mommy dearest
September 4, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this
It’s not just co-workers with kids. I may be an hour late to work due to a child’s doctor appt, but who takes up YOUR slack when you play hookey and we know you don’t have kids? I do. I don’t play hookey, I’m at work every day. If I am running late, I will make the time up. I don’t expect anyone to do my work while I am out.
Here we go again, bashing people who chose to have children. Apparently we are the lowest scum on the earth, according to childless people.
By cofthenight
September 4, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this
OK, Andrea’s comment just totally summed up everything I was going to say, haha! If you’re a slacker by nature, you’re going to always be one. No reason to make this a “with child vs. childless” issue.
By Angela
September 4, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this
Might I remind some of you that you, too, were children once. And one day you may be old and need someone to look after you. Perhaps your child (if you’re lucky enough to have one) may need to take some time off work to get you to the doctor or maybe have to run late for work because you wet your bed again. I hope your carer’s co-workers understand.
By I_Should_Be_working
September 4, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this
I am the manager of 3 women who have children and I’ll say they all do a good job about keeping their time-off under control or they use vacation days to take care of things at all. My manager has a subordinate who has 2 small girls. Thus far, she hasn’t taken off from work excessively but if you add up all of the time she spends at work talking about them, dealing with the school, etc, she’s far less productive than the others. Maybe it’s worse when they are small…
By lovelyliz
September 4, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this
It really depends. Being single, I’ve always been the one asked to cover for those with families. Whether it’s the holidays, the company events, etc., it’s those with families who have gotten off early, taken extra time, made special requests to take care of family business. This is something the bosses have allowed and it’s their right to do so. Perhaps it’s just too tempting for parents to NOT take advantage of.
I worked at a place where everyone with a family didn’t have to come in on the day of the company picnic because it would have been too much for them to go back to the burbs and pick up their kids so the entire building was staffed by nothing but the childless (or the children no longer at home) for the 1/2 day.
Of course, I’ve worked with parents who would not dream about involving family issues with work. Unfortunately, they are in the minority.
By Mike D
September 4, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this
I like female coworkers that have been married for at least seven years. They seem to be easy picking to have a casual affair with. Also, you can generally convince them to do really kinky things.
By Betty
September 4, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this
No one is condeming parents as the scum of the earth, we all had them and most of our parents worked when we were kids.
We are tired of those parents who think their children are an excuse for them to be treated differently. A lot of parents do not get the first or last appointment at doctors, some have kids who leave their books or lunch in the car and then Mom or Dad has to make a trip back to the school and way too many allow their children to call in on the company line (instead of Mom or Dad’s cell phone) and interrupt the receptionist to speak to Mom or Dad about a million things that could wait till dinner.
And yes, if your child is sick…take a sick day or vacation day. If you are young and drank so much you couldn’t come in to work on time or at all, take sick/vac time. Yes, parents are affected with more down time than other employees…just don’t expect to be treated differently than any other employee with their own set of problems. Rules at work should be the same for everyone.