Sad fact of life: Beauty goes places

Q: A person came into our company with no skills, but she is extremely attractive. She keeps getting promoted to the next level and is never in a job long enough to learn anything. How do the rest of us handle this?

A: If you were hoping I might suggest some clandestine plot to ruin her career or her looks, I'm going to disappoint you. The only relevant issue is whether her success is adversely affecting your own.

Mary G. McIntyre
Your Office Coach
If the ladder-climbing looker isn't harming you in any way, then you need to get over it. Ideally, promotions should be based on qualifications, but in reality they are influenced by many factors, including political connections, friendships and, yes, appearance. This falls into the category of "life's not fair." But if her undeserved success is interfering with your career, then ask yourself this question: What can I do in this situation to increase the likelihood of accomplishing my objectives? Please note the emphasis on helping yourself, not sabotaging her. If she's taking the jobs you want, how do you increase your own influence with management in order to be considered for future promotions? If her incompetence messes up your work, how do you bring up the problem without sounding like a complainer or a tattletale? If, heaven forbid, they make her your boss, then how do you develop a reasonably positive relationship with her? Although it may be small comfort, I can almost guarantee that at some point her ineptitude will catch up with her. And I definitely can guarantee that she eventually will lose her looks.

Q: One of my co-workers is about to become my boss. We have always been friendly colleagues, but I know things will be different now. He has asked me to tell him what I expect from him as a manager, but I'm not really sure. I guess I'd like him to shield me from interference by executive management. What else might I expect?

A: Whenever you get a new boss, clarifying expectations upfront is a good idea. So, by all means, take advantage of this invitation to discuss what you need from your about-to-be manager. And try to find out what he expects from you. To develop your list of expectations, think about all the ways that your boss can help you succeed. Possibilities include establishing clear goals, sharing information, providing feedback, obtaining resources and being open to new ideas. Although you hope he can "shield" you from executive management, please remember that your manager must respond to both his employees and his bosses. Sometimes those needs conflict, so he will feel caught in the middle from time to time. You're smart to anticipate the inevitable change in this relationship. Getting a performance review from a pal can be somewhat uncomfortable. But the two of you still can be friendly, even if you can't be friends in the same way. As you adjust to your former peer in his new role, have some compassion. Becoming a manager is a tough transition with a long learning curve, so your buddy will greatly appreciate any support that you offer.

- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.

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