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Take stage away from drama queen
Q: I have a co-worker who is disorganized, easily upset and in a high-anxiety crisis mode every single day. All conversations are about her problems: "My boyfriend didn't call me," "My allergies are acting up," "I'm having a bad hair day" and so on. Even though I'm not her manager, other people complain to me about her. They seem to expect me to do something. How can we keep our sanity?!
A: You seem to have attracted an emotional-energy leech. These high-maintenance people can suck the life out of you with their whining and whimpering. If you respond to such attention-getting maneuvers, you will add fuel to the fire. Because conversation requires two participants, the solution is to stop participating.
Politely tell the drama queen that you need to spend more time working and less time chatting. When she brings up boyfriend problems or bad hair days, just say, "I'm sorry to hear that," and go on about your business. She eventually will decide that you are no fun to talk to.
On the other hand, give her your full attention when the topic is related to work.
Your goal is to reward appropriate discussion and discourage pity parties. If you can enlist your other colleagues in this effort, the whole department might get some peace.
You and the others also should cease the group gripe sessions about your aggravating co-worker. Gossiping about her is just as unproductive as listening to her complain.
One word of caution: If your co-worker seems truly out of control, you need to involve someone in management or human resources. She could have a mental health problem that requires professional help.
-- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.
