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SUMMERTIME BLUES
For many working parents, stress starts as school ends
Ah, summer. That warm, laid-back season of beach vacations, ballgames, backyard cookouts -- and added stress for working parents. It's no picnic when you have to work and your children are home from school.
When men -- and, even more so, women -- walk through the corporate door, the unspoken, unrealistic expectation is that, as "employees," they leave behind their roles as spouses, parents, caregivers or coaches. In truth, the boundary between work and life is never hard and fast. Conflicting values, the juggling of multiple roles and the fear of failure as a manager or a parent are "a recipe for stress like nobody's business," which intensify during summer vacation, said Cathy Greenberg, international leadership expert, corporate consultant and co-author of "What Happy Companies Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Company for the Better" (2006).
Chrysalis, a Canadian consulting firm, says stress is responsible for 19 percent of absenteeism, 40 percent of turnover, 30 percent of disability costs and 60 percent of workplace accidents.
Happy companies know that treating their employees well -- creating a positive culture so that people are eager to come to work -- is the "secret sauce that enables companies to succeed to begin with," say authors Greenberg, Dan Baker and Collins Hemingway.
They discovered that companies with the best "people practices" provided a 64 percent return to shareholders over a five-year period -- more than three times the 21 percent return for companies with the weakest practices -- based on a Watson Wyatt research firm survey of 750 companies worldwide.
"There are more policies in corporate America today to help people balance their multiple roles," Greenberg said. "Many companies offer flexible work schedules, job sharing, teleworking and other kinds of assistance."
Such options are even more attractive to working parents during the summer.
Lucent Technologies, one of Working Mother magazine's "100 Best Companies for Working Mothers" (2002), has made work/life balance a top priority since it began 10 years ago, said Ollie Hartsfield, media relations manager. The company has 760 Georgia employees.
"Working parents make arrangements with their supervisors to leave early or come in late, or they may work a compressed four-day week," Hartsfield said. "About 64 percent of our global population in 2005 took advantage of our teleworking policy to work from home for part of their work week."
The company's child care reimbursement plan lets employees set aside pretax dollars to cover health care, child care or elder care at a tax savings. A family resource program provides parents with information (by phone and Web site) on options for child care, elder care and summer camps.
'Being there' time
HomeBanc Mortgage, one of Fortune magazine's "Best Companies to Work For" (2006), supports employees with families through a variety of programs.
"You know they get it when the person running the [human resources] show has eight grandchildren," said Barbara Aiken, vice president of associate satisfaction.
Much has changed since Aiken had to decide whether to jeopardize her job by going to her son's Little League games. She chose the games.
"Now we have so many men and women who are coaching their kids' teams that this office is buzzing at 5 a.m. They come in early so they can leave by 3 p.m.," she said.
The company offers flex-time arrangements, and more than 900 of its 1,380 employees have laptops. Many work from home, as needed.
On Bring Your Child to Work Day, HomeBanc asked the children what would make them happier and help their parents.
"One child told us she wanted her mom to come to her school play, even though she had to work," Aiken said. "Now employees get 24 hours of 'being there' time a year to attend their children's plays, concerts and events. If at all possible, we want them there."
Sitter search
Children's Healthcare of Atlanta, another Fortune list top company, was the first corporation to partner with SitterCity.com, a national database of children, pet and house sitters (2,500 in Atlanta).
"Many of our employees work nights or weekends, when child care centers aren't open, so finding quality child care is one of their biggest concerns. They have to think creatively, and we wanted to help," said Alissa Grzybowski, manager of work/life balance at Children's. "Individually, it costs $35 for people to use the SitterCity service, but we're providing it to our employees free."
Children's also scheduled a "speed-sitting" event (modeled after speed dating) to put employees face-to-face with 50 prescreened sitters, while staff members played games with their children.
Debi Brasfield, a staff nurse and mother of four children -- ages 8, 5, 2 and 15 months -- found a part-time nanny through SitterCity in January.
"I work weekends, while my husband watches the children, but I have to be at the hospital fairly often during the week for classes," she said. "I didn't have a lot of options for child care, and I trusted Children's to offer something that was safe."
She posted the job and got 20 local responses. Her nanny helps her husband on Saturdays and comes on Mondays so that Brasfield can recover from 12-hour shifts and shop for groceries.
"This program has been a lifesaver for us, and I'm so impressed that my company made such an effort to help working moms," she said.
Children's also gets rave reviews from employees for its "backup care" options (affordable child care for temporary emergencies), flexible scheduling and Camp Resource Guide.
"In March, we noticed that parents were already stressing about their kids' being off for the summer, so we compiled a list of day camps in Atlanta and overnight camps around the state," Grzybowski said. "Information about age range, location, costs, activities and enrollment dates allowed parents to compare options without the time-consuming research. We did the legwork for them."
Lose the guilt
While companies have become more family-friendly, "many women feel too guilty or fearful to take advantage of the options offered, lest they be tagged as someone who can't carry her own weight," Greenberg said. They create extra stress by holding themselves to unrealistically high standards, not setting boundaries and not "acknowledging their own power to make right decisions for themselves and their children."
She advises women to break the negative-thinking loop by taking positive action. Arrange for child care using family and community resources. If children can stay by themselves, install video-conferencing capability on the home computer and schedule check-in times, or use cellphones and e-mail. Enlist a stay-at-home neighbor as emergency backup and find out company policies that could lessen the work/life conflicts for the summer.
Asking for a scheduling change is not unreasonable, especially if the employee keeps it consistent with the company's ability to give it.
"If you show that you've consciously considered the company's needs as well as your own (not asking for time off during crucial planning periods, for instance), it would be foolish for them not to honor a request -- especially knowing what it would cost to replace your skills and abilities," Greenberg said.
