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Be diplomatic about scene-stealing newcomer
Q: I've been a secretary to my boss for more than five years -- even changing companies with him. A few months ago, he hired another secretary to help with my workload. Now she pretty much shares all my responsibilities and seems to have most of the work. It feels as though she's become my replacement. How do I approach my boss about this without sounding like I'm whining?
A: I wonder whether this is more about facts or feelings. The boss/secretary relationship is usually very close, so you understandably might resent sharing that role. Although we're supposed to be all grown up and mature about these things, people seldom leave their emotions at home when they go to the office.
Congratulations, though, for not wanting to whine or complain. Even when emotional reactions are perfectly natural, politically intelligent people know when to keep their feelings to themselves.
The key question is whether you actually are being replaced or just feel that way. In fact, your manager may view this change as a benefit to you, because your workload has been reduced. If you have evidence that the newcomer's qualifications are better than yours, that may be a factual reason to worry. Otherwise, your long tenure with the boss should give you a definite advantage.
When discussing the issue with your manager, stay focused on the work. For example: "I think the way we've divided up responsibilities may be overloading Mary, because I have extra time and she's really busy. But I have an idea about how to equal things out." Then propose a different distribution of tasks.
Another possibility: "It's great having Mary share the workload, so I wonder if I might take on some additional responsibilities now that I have more time." Then ask for an expansion of your role.
Regardless of your feelings, try to develop the best relationship possible with your new colleague. If you become rivals, everybody loses.
Q: I don't smoke, but three people in my office do, including the boss. He smokes outside, but my co-workers do not, even though it's against company policy. As soon as the boss isn't looking, they light up. I have asked him to deal with this, but he hates conflict and never says anything. How can I resolve this without getting my manager in trouble?
A: You're considerate to worry about your boss, even though he's ignoring your concerns. Because you don't want to call in the higher-ups, here are a couple of alternatives.
A nonconfrontational strategy might appeal to your conflict-avoidant manager. Instead of requesting a smoking crackdown, ask for a meeting at which everyone can try to agree on a solution. Tell him you not only are worried about your own health but also are concerned that higher-level managers might discover the policy violation. If your boss agrees to the meeting, come prepared with specific suggestions.
Another approach is to deal directly with your co-workers. Instead of getting angry, request their cooperation: "I know that I can't tell you what to do, but I'd like to ask you a favor. I really do worry about breathing secondhand smoke, so I would appreciate it if you could smoke outside when I'm around." When you have no leverage, politely asking for help sometimes works.
If your co-workers continue to be jerks and your boss continues to be a wimp, you are left with three choices: report the misbehavior, try to avoid the smoke or find a healthier place to work. Because this isn't a great set of alternatives, I hope you can work out a cooperative solution.
- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.
