 |
|
|||||
Get out of the stress cycle
I laughed out loud the other day when a job-seeker described her trial period on a popular antidepressant. Although the drug helped her cope with the emotional ups and downs of the stresses she was enduring, it packed a double whammy on the list of disadvantages: Not only did she gain weight, she said, but also she lost a lot of her energy. The result, in her words, was a summer spent dragging herself to work and back, with the rest of her time spent hanging around on the couch "like a neutered dog."
OK, maybe it was the way she said it that made me laugh. The circumstance itself isn't so funny. Many people I know who are in job transition are coping with multiple stresses. Family crises, health issues, money struggles . . . when you factor in uncertain income and work stress, the situation can be overwhelming.
How do people cope? I hear various answers, such as meditation, exercise and weekends at the cabin. Others don't have these mental or financial resources and rely on less healthy methods of escape, including extra hours in front of the TV and extra trips to the refrigerator. Thus begins a cycle many of us know well: The worse you feel about yourself, the worse you take care of yourself and the worse you feel.
This spiral intersects with a person's job search at many points. If you're feeling low, you may make poor decisions -- or forgo decision-making altogether. You may put off networking or skill-building. You unintentionally may sabotage your interviews by presenting yourself less favorably than you deserve.
Do you need a therapist at this point? Pharmaceuticals? Maybe and maybe. I've known many job-seekers who felt they made better progress after they sought this kind of help.
The key word is "help," whatever form it takes. If you're feeling overwhelmed and want to start on a new path, you may find relief by talking with friends, seeking specific job-search assistance or even working with a personal trainer or nutritionist.
While you're busy getting your confidence back, your job search may need to keep moving. Here are some tips to help you restabilize in the interim.
1. Quit beating yourself up for not being "ready" for this job search. If you need a new job now, base your strategy on who you are and what you know at this point. Look for jobs that fit your current skills.
2. Take control of some part of your life, preferably your schedule. If you can eliminate some unproductive parts of your day, you'll have more time for things that count. Getting up at the same time each day and scheduling in exercise and social interaction will give you energy; cutting out excessive television-viewing or other nonproductive habits will help you keep it.
3. Get a job-search buddy. Whether this is a friend you already have or one you're about to make, this person will make more difference in your job search than you might guess. We tend to work harder on projects when we know we'll be reporting our progress to someone.
4. If you've gained (or lost) weight, don't delay your job search until your normal shape returns. Buy clothes that make you look good now. Remember, employers you meet for the first time never knew you as any other size, so your situation is not obvious to them. They'll be attracted to you if you're confident and poised, so put your energy into showing those traits.
5. Consider seeking medical/mental health care. The job-seeker I mentioned earlier went back to the doctor for an adjustment in her prescription. She found the difference to be substantial and says she now functions well in her job and other parts of her life.
6. Keep your focus on the future. While things are less than ideal now, your efforts will pay off. Hang on for better times; you'll be glad you did.
- Amy Lindgren owns Prototype Career Service, a career consulting firm in St. Paul, Minn. She can be reached at alindgren@ prototypecareerservice.com or at 1071 W. Seventh St., St. Paul, MN 55102.
