Time to throw in the towel?

Sometimes good career advice comes from unexpected places. It could be a sage response from a friend you thought wasn't listening or fresh viewpoints from relatives who are long retired or too young to drive.

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Is it really the job, or is there something else going on (or not going on)? If you don't have many friends and expect your workplace to provide a social outlet, you may be asking too much of your job.

Or it could pop out at you from a "Dear Abby" column.

In late August, Abigail Van Buren printed a letter from "Susan in St. Louis" in her column. Susan asked directly for Abby's permission to change careers, saying, "I am a registered nurse who graduated from nursing school a year ago and hates her job." After acknowledging that a change would be expensive, she goes on: "I know it seems crazy to have spent four years getting a degree and not use it, but I really don't like nursing. The problem is mainly the other nurses and the environment, not my patients."

Abby's answer? Instead of supporting a decision to change careers, the columnist challenged Susan to consider other ways to practice her profession. She described several options, such as becoming a traveling nurse, a private duty nurse or a nurse with a cruise line. She ended by noting: "It may be possible to use the training you worked so hard to attain and not have to deal with the 'other nurses' and the 'environment.' Please think it over and check out nursing registries in your state before you make your final decision. You may be pleasantly surprised."

If you've ever been miserable in a job, you probably can relate to Susan's desperation. Her plan to leave the field, however, brings to mind the phrase "throwing the baby out with the bath water." With so much already invested in this career, one year and one job seem like a pretty short trial.

And yet . . . I often have advised workers to make an exit plan when they're in jobs they don't like. Why spend more time being miserable? There's a saying for this situation, too: "throwing good money after bad." Once a mistake has been made, why compound it by doing more of the same?

Given these competing philosophies (or dueling adages), it seems that some kind of criteria or steps are in order. How long is too long at a miserable job, and what's not long enough?

For the record, I liked Abby's answer to Susan. I think there's an issue of proportion here that Susan was about to violate. I don't know what the exact formula would be, but four years of training deserves more than one year of trial before tossing out the profession. I would like to see Susan have at least two or three years -- and different experiences -- in nursing before she revisits this decision.

On the other hand, had Susan's been a job she got with little experience or training, I'd be more likely to tell her to move on. In that case, more time spent deciding probably would be delaying the inevitable.

If you're struggling with a similar dilemma, here are some things to consider.

AMY LINDGREN

WORKING STRATEGIES

1. Start making lists. What do you like about the job? What do you dislike? Can you assign points or a value to these items? If so, maybe something on the page will help you make the decision. Be sure to note which of the likes and dislikes might be short-lived. For example, if you are bothered by a particular co-worker, is it possible that she'll be moving on soon anyway?

2. Look at the things you like as building blocks. Can you put them together in a different way and come up with a new job idea? Is quitting the only solution, or would a new assignment or department fix the problem?

3. Remind yourself of what first attracted you to the situation. Is that thing still appealing?

4. Look deeper. Is it really the job, or is there something else going on (or not going on) in your life? For example, if you don't have many friends and expect your workplace to provide a social outlet, you may be asking too much of your job.

5. Look down the road. If you stay in this position, are you on a track to be promoted or transferred to a position you'll enjoy more? Will staying give you a better chance for something you really want later on?

6. Make lemonade from this lemon. If you quit, how can you use this recent experience to your advantage? Can you build on what you've learned or leverage the contacts you've made? Try not to leave empty-handed or the time you've spent at this job will feel like a waste.

- Amy Lindgren owns Prototype Career Service, a career consulting firm in St. Paul, Minn. She can be reached at alindgren@prototypecareerservice.com or at 1071 W. Seventh St., St. Paul, MN 55102.