THE SILENT TREATMENT

Q: I have a co-worker who never says "good morning." She claims she is not a morning person, but I think it's just a sorry excuse for bad behavior. I am tired of initiating the morning conversations and of her "I'm better than you" personality. What should I do?

A: Sorry to sound unsympathetic, but I think you're making way too much of this. If your co-worker prefers not to speak in the morning, stop initiating interaction. When you pass her in the hall, simply flash a friendly smile and walk on by.

Every workplace contains many different personality types. Some folks are gregarious and outgoing, while others are self-contained and reserved. You enjoy chatting, but your co-worker may prefer to focus on her thoughts.

OFFICE COACH

Marie G. McIntyre

Unless you have other evidence of a superior attitude, don't assume that this quiet colleague feels she's better than you. Silence does not imply arrogance. Actually, you seem to feel that speaking to people makes you the better person.

Forcing conversation when the other party doesn't feel like talking is not friendly behavior. In fact, it sounds a little hostile. So you might want to examine your own motives in this situation.

Q: I need to vent about looking for a job. Employers always want to hire experienced people, so they don't have to do much training. But how can I get experience if no one will give me that first chance?

Also, how can a person become proficient at anything without using those skills on a consistent basis? You can take classes to learn things, which I have done, but that's not the same as experience.

A: You've encountered the classic dilemma of every newly minted professional: You can't get a job without experience, and you can't get experience without a job. Fortunately, a full-time position is not the only way to develop skills and boost your resume.

One strategy is to obtain short-term assignments in your field by signing on with a temporary employment agency. For those who are mobile and flexible, contract jobs are available at all levels, from administrative assistant to CEO. And, as a temp, you can get the inside scoop on prospective employers without making a permanent commitment.

Another option is to offer your talents to a nonprofit organization. Because of their limited budgets, charitable and civic groups often welcome skilled volunteer help. Such unpaid work can provide both valuable experience and a reference to validate your abilities.

If you are employed but trying to change professions, look for steppingstone opportunities with your current employer. For example, an engineer interested in being a trainer volunteered to teach classes in his field. And a secretary hoping to become a project manager asked to head up some small projects in her department.

Finally, remember that looking for a job is a job in itself. To compensate for lack of experience, you must demonstrate stellar skills in networking, resume preparation and interviewing. If you are qualified and persistent, your frustrating job search eventually will end.

- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.