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Undermining 'mama's boy' likely to backfire
Q: One of my co-workers always sucks up to management. Our boss is so fond of him that people refer to them as "mother and son." This guy is not very competent and always blames others for his mistakes. When some staff members complained about him, he told our "motherly" manager that I had turned everyone against him. She believed him and refused to listen to any other explanation.
The manager used to give me special assignments, but now I get only routine tasks. I have gathered evidence that she wants to harm my career and may be planning to lay me off. I'm very worried about having to find another job. Should I talk with her and explain that I am not the kind of person described by my suck-up co-worker?
A: Talking with your boss is a good idea, but only if you focus on the future, not the past. Complaining about the "son" will just lead to an argument, because she's incapable of seeing him objectively.
Your goal is to improve your own relationship with the boss, not to sabotage your smarmy colleague. Her fondness for him is irrelevant as long as she thinks well of you. So don't even mention the little weasel. If she brings him up, find something positive to say.
Ask your manager to help you create a plan for developing your skills or expanding your knowledge. Express appreciation for previous assignments and ask how you might contribute to such projects in the future. Pay attention to any feedback she offers, and agree to make appropriate changes. You need to be seen as a helpful, cooperative employee.
If your boss refuses to participate in this discussion, you may want to begin working on a job-change strategy. Although you may never have to implement it, at least you'll be prepared, should your worst fears come to pass.
Q: I'm an administrative assistant to a vice president in a health care company. A few weeks ago, my boss asked me to find out why some doctors hadn't been paid for their services. I called the vice president of accounting, who told me to send her the doctors' names.
For several weeks, I continued to follow up with this VP's assistant, who kept putting me off, was rude and made comments about doctors' not needing money. I told my manager about the assistant's offensive remarks and uncooperative attitude.
After my boss advised our CEO of the late payments, the VP of accounting brought the checks the next day. My manager told her about the assistant's rude comments and failure to respond to my requests.
Now this VP is mad at me. She says I should have talked to her about the assistant instead of telling my boss. Do you think I should have gone to the VP myself?
A: Because the assistant's behavior was harmful to your department, going to your boss was the right thing to do. Had you taken the problem to her manager, you would have appeared to be tattling. And your boss never would have known why the checks were delayed.
The VP's anger actually may have another source. She could be upset because your boss got her in trouble with the CEO. Or she might resent having to address the poor performance of an ill-mannered employee. You simply may present an easy and safe target for her negative feelings about the whole situation.
- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.
